NEWS COMICS — Amsterdam, Netherlands - In a nut-busting but not at all surprising court ruling, a Dutch man has been ordered to stop his prolific 'seed' donations that have allegedly produced between 500 to 600 babies worldwide.
The man, who goes by the name of Jonathan Meijer, has been dubbed as the “ultimate seed-spreader” by his peers, but the court is not amused.
In the lawsuit brought against him by a foundation representing the interests of donor children and Dutch parents who had used Meijer's 'seed', the court found that his continued donations violated the right to privacy of his donor children, whose ability to form or have relationships is hampered by fears of accidental incest and inbreeding.
"We cannot have another situation like in The Lion King where the two lions turn out to be siblings," the judge reportedly told Meijer in the courtroom.
Furthermore, Meijer has been ordered to write to clinics abroad asking them to destroy any of his 'seed' they have in stock, except doses reserved for parents who already had children by him.
When asked for comment, Meijer was disappointed, but hopeful. “I was just trying to do my part in the world and help people who wanted to have babies. I never thought it would come to this," he said.
As for the babies he’s fathered, Meijer said he hopes to one day meet them all and host the biggest family reunion the world has ever seen. When asked how he plans on financing such a grand event, Meijer shrugged and said, “Maybe I’ll start a GoFundMySeed page.”
The court hearing for Meijer’s case lasted 10 minutes, but the impact of his prolific breeding career will undoubtedly last a lifetime. It just goes to show that sometimes a little too much of a good thing can be a bad thing - especially when it comes to human reproduction."
*Note: Comic story just for humor only.
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